You don’t have to be a farmer to enjoy cow jokes! If you were looking for a collection of cow jokes that are better than a milkshake, keep reading!

These funny cow jokes are sure to give you the giggles!

Closeup of cow looking at camera
Udderly hilarious1

90+ FUNNY Cow Jokes

  1. What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!
  2. Why did the two cows not like each other? They had beef.
  3. How do you count cows? With a cowculator!
  4. What happens when you try talking to a cow? Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
  5. Where do cows eat lunch? In the calfeteria.
  6. What did one dairy cow say to the other? Got milk?
  7. What do you call a sad cow? Moo-dy.
  8. What do you call a cow that can’t make milk? A milk dud.
  9. How do you make a cow be quiet? Press the moo-te button.
  10. What do cows read in the morning? The moos-paper!
  11. How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down.
  12. How do you know which cow is the best dancer? See which one has the best moo-ves.
  13. What does the cow band play? Moo-sic!
  14. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!
  15. What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow? Udder nonsense.
  16. What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline? A milkshake.
  17. Where do cows get all their medicine? The farmacy!
  18. How did the cow get to the moon? It went to udder space.
  19. Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way.
  20. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak-out.
  21. What do you get when you cross a Smurf with a cow? Blue cheese.
  22. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
  23. What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster? Roost beef.
  24. What kind of shows do cows like best? Moosicals.
  25. What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose.
  26. What has the lone cow been up to lately? Nobody’s herd…
  27. How do dairy farmers do their taxes? They go to an accountant.
  28. What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
  29. Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? At McDonalds.
  30. What is a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
  31. What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.
  32. What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake? Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
  33. Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Their horns don’t work.
  34. What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth? Decalfinated.
  35. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
  36. Where did the cow spend all its money? At the cow-sino.
  37. What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow? Milk of Amnesia.
  38. What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
  39. What would you call a cow wearing armor? Sir Loin.
  40. Why don’t cows have money? Because the farmers keep draining them dry.
  41. Did you hear about the holy cow? Some say he was legend-dairy.
  42. What do you call a scared cow? A cow-ard.
  43. How do cows introduce their wives? Hey guys! Meat Patty.
  44. Why did the cow jump over the moon? He thought the mooooon was calling to him.
  45. Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night? To the moovies!
  46. What did one cow say to the other on a cold night? “I don’t really know about you but I’m Fresian”.
  47. Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes? He kept butchering every one.
  48. What do you call a magic cow? Moo-dini.
  49. What happened when the cow ran into the fence? It was udderly destructed.
  50. What do cows put on french toast? Mooooolasses.
  51. How does lady gaga usually like her steak? Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
  52. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
  53. What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail? How diary!
  54. What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings? Cow-moo-flauged.
  55. What is a cow’s favorite magazine? Moogue.
  56. When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply? “I was going to say that!”.
  57. Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk!
  58. What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen, but not herd.”
  59. What would happen if you tried talking to a cow? Everything would just go in one ear and out the udder.
  60. Why did the artist love painting cows? He said they were his moos.
  61. Where do cow farts come from?T heir dairy-ère.
  62. What kind of lunch meat do cows like best? A bull-ogna.
  63. Why do cows stay close together when it’s cold out? To keep each udder warm!
  64. Who’s in charge of the dairy operations? The cow-ptain.
  65. Can you make money owning cows? Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable.
  66. What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her? Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again!
  67. What animal goes “oom, oom”? A cow walking backwards.
  68. What is a cow’s dream job? Being an udder cover agent.
  69. What do cows say when they hear a bad joke? “I am not amoosed.”
  70. What is a cow’s favorite color? Marooooooon.
  71. How would you address the queen of cows ?Your Moojesty.
  72. Why do cows want to see Times Square? Because it’s in Moo York City.
  73. What did the cow say before making a risky poker bet? The steaks have never been higher.
  74. What song do cows love to sing? I’ve got the mooooves like Jagger.
  75. What do you a hurt cow? Ow.What do you call a cruel cow?A de-moooon.
  76. Why are cows always telling each other jokes? To keep themselves amoosed!
  77. What do you call a cow on a diet? Lean beef.
  78. What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn? They beefed up their security.
  79. Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless? They’ve probably herd it before.
  80. Where do Russian cows come from? Mos-cow
  81. What happens when a cow has PMS? It gets moo-dy.
  82. What math problems do cows like to solve? Moo-tiplication problems.
  83. What do you call a cow that eats grass? A lawn-mooer.
  84. What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught? Don’t mooooooove a moo-scle.
  85. What did the cow shout when it did a cannonball into the swimming pool? “Cow-abunga!”
  86. What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit? That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull.
  87. Why do cows like to go to the spa? To get some re-hoove-ination.
  88. What do cows say when they apologize to one another? Sorry, I made a mis-steak.
  89. What type of camera do cows use? Cow-non.
  90. What did Donald Trump tell the cow? That’s fake moos!
  91. What is a cow’s favorite movie series? Steer Wars.Why do cows work? To make mooooney
  92. What happens when cows stop shaving? They grow moostaches.
  93. Why did the cow look so confused? He was having deja moo.

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