If you’re looking for a laugh, look no further than duck jokes! Ducks are a funny bunch, and we’ve collected the best duck jokes of all time. Whether you’re looking for duck puns or just some classic duck jokes, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the one hundred best duck jokes of all time!

cartoon duckling in cracked eggshell
  1. What document did the duck politician write on his mouth? The bill of rights.
  2. What is storytime called when you read to ducklings? Ducktales.
  3. What’s a chick’s go-to soda? Peepsi.
  4. What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news? The feather forecast.
  5. What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nutquacker!
  6. What’s a duckling’s favorite game? Beakaboo!
  7. What do ducks have with their soup? Quackers!
  8. What has fangs and webbed feet? Count Duckula!
  9. What time do ducks get up in the morning? At the quack of dawn.
  10. Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get it’s back quacked.
  11. Why was the duck named “class clown?” He was always quackin’ jokes in class!’
  12. What time do ducks get up? The quack of dawn.
  13. What’s a duck’s favorite type of dip? Quack-amole!
  14. What do ducks use to fix things around their house? Duck tape!
  15. And what does a duck put his favorite dip on? Quackers!
  16. Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
  17. What do you call a smart duck? A wise quacker.
  18. What do ducks carry their school books in? Quack-packs!
  19. What’s a duck’s favorite part about the Fourth of July? The fire-quackers!
  20. Where do ducks go when they are sick? The ducktor’s office.
  21. Why are ducks great detectives? Because they always quack the case.
  22. Why do ducks never grow up? Because they grow down.
  23. What did the duck wear to his wedding? A ducks-edo!
  24. What’s a duck do when he hears a joke he likes? He quacks up!
  25. What state do most ducks live in? South Duck-ota.
  26. What’s a duck’s favorite taco topping? Quackamole!
  27. What do ducks use to fix up their houses? Duck tape!
  28. What should a duck wear to a fancy event? A duck-sedo!
  29. What do ducks say when things get thrown at them? Duck!
  30. What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs?I t lays scrambled eggs.
  31. Why did the ducks rebel against their flock leader? They said he was a duck-tator!
  32. What’s a duck’s favorite vegetable? An eggplant!
  33. Why do ducks quack? Because they can’t moo.
  34. How do ducks make pancakes? They use Bis-quack!
  35. Why do ducks fly south for the winter? Because they can’t drive.
  36. What’s a duck always order with its Chinese food? An eggroll.
  37. And why can’t ducks drive? Their windshields are always quacked.
  38. What do you call a duck that breaks into people’s houses? A robber ducky!
  39. Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.
  40. What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles.
  41. Why do ducks lay eggs? Because they would crack if they dropped them.
  42. Most ducks live in what state? Duckota.
  43. What do you call a duck floating on a river? Bob.
  44. Why don’t ducks ever make plans? They prefer to wing it.
  45. What do you call movies that ducks like to watch? Duck-umentaries.
  46. Why did the teenage duck get grounded? He used fowl language.
  47. Why don’t ducks like reading directions? They prefer to wing it.
  48. Why was the duck a suspect in the crime? Police suspected the crime was fowl play.
  49. What’d the duck say when he dropped his plate? “I hope I didn’t quack it!”
  50. What do spiders and ducks have in common? Webbed feet.
  51. Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.
  52. What did the doctor tell the duck? He had a clean bill of health!
  53. Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk? She tripped on a quack.
  54. What does the duck think about his Canadian cousin? He thinks he’s a bit of a loon.
  55. Why did the duck go to the bank? She wanted to get more bills.
  56. Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
  57. What’s a duck’s favorite type of popcorn? Quacker Jacks.
  58. Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It’s too far to waddle.
  59. Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.
  60. What did the duck say to the waiter? “Put it on my bill.”
  61. What did the cow tell the duck when she heard she won the lottery? “You lucky duck!”
  62. What type of food do you get when you cross a duck with a mole? Duckamole!
  63. What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker.
  64. What did Santa give the duck for Christmas? A Christmas quacker!
  65. Why did the duck have to go to the auto shop? His windscreen was quacked!
  66. What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes? “I hope I didn’t quack any!”
  67. Why do ducks lay eggs? If they dropped them, they would break.
  68. What happens when you say something funny to a duck? It quacks up.
  69. What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks? A box of quackers!
  70. Why are ducks so good at fixing things? Because they’re great at using duck-tape!
  71. What did the detective say to his partner? “Let’s quack this case!”
  72. Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck? Because it wouldn’t stop quacking jokes!
  73. Which musician do ducks listen to the most? Drake.
  74. What did the duck eat for a snack? Salted quackers!
  75. What do you call a crazy duck? A wacky duck!
  76. What do you call a rude duck? A duck with a quackitute.
  77. What kind of eggs do bad ducks lay? Deviled eggs.
  78. What did the lawyer say to the duck in court? “I demand an egg-splanation!”
  79. What do you call it when it’s raining chickens and ducks? Fowl weather.
  80. How can you tell rubber ducks apart? You can’t, they look egg-xactly the same!
  81. Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
  82. Why are ducks good at budgeting? They know how to handle the bills!
  83. Why did the duck end up in jail? He was selling quack.
  84. When is roast duck not good for your health? When you’re the duck.
  85. What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks? Firequackers.
  86. Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out fires.
  87. Why do elephants have big feet? To stomp out burning ducks.
  88. If a duck says “Quack quack”, what says “Quick quick”?A duck with hiccups.
  89. Why did the duck get a red card in the football game? For Fowl-play.
  90. What did the duck say to the spider? “Why don’t you have webbed feet?”
  91. What do you get if you cross a duck with an accountant? A bill with a bill.
  92. What did Count Duckula say when it was given a snack? Fangs a lot!
  93. What do you call a duck’s burp? A fowl smell!
  94. What do you get if you cross a vampire, duck and a sheep? Count Duck-ewe-la.
  95. What did the duck say when she bought new lipstick? Put it on my bill’!
  96. What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie? Lord of the Wings.
  97. What was the secret agent duck named? James Pond!
  98. What slogan did the geese use in their anti-duck propaganda? “Quack is wack.”
  99. What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently? Portu-geese.
  100. Why don’t ducks need smartphones? The web is already on their feet!
  101. What do you call slang between young ducks? Ducklingo.
  102. What kind of egg does an optimistic duckling hatch from? Sunny side up.
  103. What does a duck say when they disagree with someone? “That’s reduckulous.”
  104. What kind of egg does a calm and collected duckling come from?
  105. Over easyWhat game does a duck play at the bar? Bill-iards.
  106. What is a duck’s favorite sea monster? The quacken.
  107. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck? He avoids walking into a bar.
  108. Did you ever hear about the poor duck who wanted plastic surgery for his face? He couldn’t afford the bill.
  109. What does a duck say when they’re sick? They’re feeling under the feather.
  110. What did the bird in the air yell when the bird in the water was in danger? Hey! Duck!
  111. What is it called when a duck commits an illegal act in waterpolo? A water-fowl!
  112. How did the duck parents know their duckling was a prodigy? He was eggcelent from birth!
  113. What fabric softener to ducks use? Downy!
  114. What do you call the evil ruler of a small pond?A ducktator!
  115. What do you get when you cross a duck and a wiener dog? A duckshund!
  116. What do you call it when a group of mallards is making too much noise? Quackophany!

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