Get comfortable and ready yourself for some fun yolking as we take you through our list of eggcellent egg jokes that are sure to crack you up!

  1. Why was the chicken up all night? Restless Egg Syndrome.
  2. What did the doctor tell the chicken with high cholesterol? “Lay off the eggs for a while.”
  3. Why did the new egg feel so good? Because he just got laid!
  4. How did the egg get up the mountain? It scrambled up!
  5. Why couldn’t the paleontologist find any Dodo eggs? Because they’re egg-stinct!
  6. What is an egg’s favourite kind of tree? Yolk tree!
  7. Who tells the best eggs puns? The comedy-hens!
  8. What do you call a smart omelet? An egg head!
  9. What happened 6 months after Humpty Dumpty’s great fall? They had to eggs-hume the body!
  10. How do baby chickens dance? Chick-to-chick!
  11. Why did the egg regret being in an omelet? It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be!
  12. What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan? It scrambled.
  13. Where do Eskimos keep their eggs? Inside an egg-loo!
  14. What’s an egg’s favourite American Football team? Chick-ago Bears!
  15. How did the omelet find out she was ill? She had a medical eggs-am!
  16. Where is the best place to learn about eggs? In the hen-cyclopedia
  17. Why was the egg carton arrested? For Eggravated a-salt and Battery!
  18. How do comedians like their eggs? Funny side up!
  19. What did the egg say after it was ghosted? Why the hell are you egg-noring me?
  20. Why do you have to watch what you say around egg whites? They can’t take a yolk.
  21. Why does the Easter Bunny paint their eggs? It’s too tricky to wallpaper them!
  22. What do you call a scared egg? Terri-fried!
  23. How do chickens stay fit? They eggs-ercise!
  24. What do you call a city of 20 million eggs? New Yolk City!
  25. What does the stove say when you turn the gas on? Om-lit!
  26. How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn? The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
  27. What did Snow White name her hen? Egg White!
  28. Why does everyone love hard-boiled eggs in the morning? They’re hard to beat.
  29. Why did the chicken go to school? To eggs-pand their knowledge!
  30. What’s an egg’s favorite type of coffee? An eggspresso!
  31. How do you make an egg roll? Just give it a little push!
  32. How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it? By dropping it seven feet – it won’t break for the first six.
  33. What did the eggs say to each other after a long week at work? Thank goodness it’s fry-day!
  34. How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach? Just one, because then your stomach won’t be empty.
  35. Why were the eggs running so fast? They were afraid of being beaten!
  36. What came first, the chicken or the egg? The dinosaur.
  37. What do you get if you cross Harsha with an egg? A practical yolker!
  38. Why did the celebrity egg start losing her friends? They called her a shell-out.
  39. What does Mr. Egg say every morning to Mrs. Egg? “Have an eggs-tra special day!”
  40. How does a witch make scrambled eggs? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.
  41. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? Because she was lay-zee!
  42. How many eggs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Eggs don’t have hands.
  43. What did the egg say after someone bumped into her? Egg-scuse me!
  44. What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical-yolker.
  45. Which petrol station do eggs use? Shell!
  46. How did the hen get to work so fast? She used the eggs-press lane!
  47. Did you hear about the hen who laid her egg on an axe? She wanted to hatchet.
  48. What happens if you play table tennis with a bad egg? It goes ping, then it goes pong.
  49. What must you do after eating deviled eggs? Perform an eggs-orcism!
  50. If fruit comes from a fruit tree, what kind of a tree does a chicken come from? A poul-tree!
  51. Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken!
  52. How does a hen leave its house? Through the eggs-it.
  53. What do you say to a chicken who gets a good school report? Egg-cellent work!
  54. What did the egg say after acing its test? “Omelet smarter than I look!”
  55. What do you call an egg who likes to go on safari? An eggs-plorer!
  56. Did you hear about the wizard who turned his friend into an egg? He kept trying to poach his ideas.
  57. Who would be the best actor for a live egg-ction movie? Eggs Benedict Cumber-hatch!
  58. What did one chicken say to the other when they walked through poison ivy? You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours?
  59. What’s the worst crime as far as an egg is concerned? Poaching!
  60. How can you tell if an egg’s been boiled or not? Eggs-ray vision.
  61. How does a chicken prefer to pay for their shopping? By using the eggs-press checkout!
  62. What did the hen say to her chick? “Don’t you egg-nore me!”
  63. Why wouldn’t the farmer let the hen in his house? She kept laying deviled eggs!
  64. What happens when you tell an egg a joke? It cracks up!
  65. What advice did the wife give to her husband whilst he was making meringues? Make sure you don’t over-egg the pudding!
  66. What did the eggs do when the light turned green? They egg-celerated!
  67. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny’s been? Eggs marks the spot!
  68. What was the motivational egg speaker’s slogan? Sunny side up!
  69. Why don’t dinosaurs lay eggs? Because they’re eggs-tinct!
  70. Why did the egg fail its driving test? He liked to egg-celerate too much!
  71. How did the chicken feel after a long day on the farm? Eggs-hausted!
  72. Why did it take the chicken so long to cross the road? There was no eggs-press lane!
  73. What did the angry hen say to her child? You’re such a rotten egg!
  74. What does an egg do when it’s terri-fried? Runs!
  75. What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon? They go on peck-nics!
  76. How would you describe a baby egg on Christmas morning? Absolutely egg-static!
  77. What is an egg’s motto when doing school work? Just fry your best!
  78. What did the two eggs say after brunch? “Let’s hatch a plan for the rest of the day!”
  79. Why did the rooster ask the hen out on a date? He was feeling plucky!
  80. What do you call a boy who works on a poultry farm? HENry COOPer!
  81. What do chickens call a school test? Eggs-amination!
  82. How do you know if a chef is mean? He beats all the eggs.
  83. What did the egg say about escaping the kitchen? “I might whisk it and run!”
  84. What did the egg say to his girlfriend? “You are the hottest chick I’ve ever seen and that’s no eggs-aggeration!”
  85. What happened to the chicken at school? He was eggs-pelled!
  86. What oath must an egg-xpert witness say in court? ‘I’m as sure as eggs is eggs!’
  87. What do Chickens grow on? Eggplants!
  88. What do you call a baby chick in a shell suit? An egg!
  89. What did the omelet say after the breakfast sandwich stole her idea? “That’s eggs-actly what I just said!”
  90. Have you done something different with your hair? You look eggs-traordinary!
  91. What happens to a runner if they don’t do enough eggs-ercise before a race? They get scrambled legs!
  92. What is a hen’s favourite drink? A cock-tail!
  93. Why is a bear big, brown and hairy? Because if it was small, smooth and white… it would be an egg!
  94. What do you call an egg white with cowboy boots? A western omelette!
  95. I saw an egg behaving really weirdly today.He must have been really egg-centric.
  96. Where would a penguin and a hen raise their family? In an egg-loo!
  97. What kind of egg lives by the sea? An egg shell.
  98. What does a meditating egg say? Ohhhhhmmmlet!
  99. Why did the eggs go to school? So that they could become egg-ucated.
  100. Why doesn’t the boiled egg get tired after egg-certing energy? Because he’s hard-core!
  101. .What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay? Scrambled eggs!
  102. What train do eggs take to get to school? The Hogwarts eggs-press!
  103. What’s a hen’s favorite shopping company? Federal Egg-spress.
  104. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a lizard? An egguana!
  105. What do you call a self-obsessed egg? An eggomaniac.
  106. What did one omelette say to the other omelette? What’s fritt-atter with you?
  107. How do you know if you’ve got a rotten egg? If it’s past its egg-spiry date!
  108. Why did the cockerel have egg on his face? Because he was always getting egg-nored!
  109. Why is the cock always walking on eggshells around the hen? Because she’s egg-stremely sensitive!
  110. Why were none of the chicks interested in the rooster? Because he was cocky and he had a big eggo!
  111. How many French eggs do you need? One egg is un oeuf.
  112. Why wasn’t the boiled egg eggs-pelled from school? Because the teachers had a soft spot for him!
  113. Why can’t an egg speak publicly? He cracks under pressure.
  114. Why did the scientist abduck-t so many birds? So she could conduct eggsperiments!
  115. Why should you always eat eggs benedict at home on Christmas? Because there’s no place like home for the hollandaise.
  116. How did the whisk win the Egg-Cup Championship? By beating the eggs!
  117. What sport do eggs excel at? Eggs-treme sports.
  118. What’s the popular dating site for single eggs?!
  119. What do you call an artificial egg? A bootlegg.
  120. What do you call a man with an egg on his head? NESTor!
  121. What egg-cuse did the chicken give for his crimes? He said his friends egged him on!
  122. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian? An eggs-traterrestrial.
  123. How do you tell the difference between a good egg and a bad egg? Good eggs are eggsceptionally friendly, whereas bad eggs are just eggnorant!
  124. How do eggs get around? On a s-egg-way.
  125. What do you call a girl who’s always peeling eggs? Shelly Hands!
  126. What’s an egg’s favorite tree? A y-oak tree.
  127. What do you call an egg that refuses to come out of its shell? An egg-arophobic.

Thousands More Jokes For Any Occasion

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