If you’re looking for a good laugh, you’ve come to the right place! We have compiled over 120 hilarious guess-what jokes just for you! These jokes are sure to make you laugh out loud.

  1. The gym instructor broke up with his girlfriend, guess what happened? It didn’t work out.
  2. Guess what, Facebook? I’m not going to tell you what’s on my mind today.
  3. My boss just came back from his holidays; guess what country he went to? To Boss-Bados.
  4. Guess what kind of hike I went today? I hiked my pants.
  5. Guess what number of pessimists it takes to screw in a lightbulb? None – they gave up.
  6. A boy went up to the counter serving orange punch. He saw there was a huge line and so, he came back after an hour. Guess what? There was no punchline.
  7. Two eggs went for a comedy gig, guess what one egg said to the another? Let’s get cracking.
  8. I met a witch at the restaurant the other day, guess what she ordered? Spook-eti.
  9. My twin brothers dressed up as a bird this Halloween, guess what they said? Trick or tweet.
  10. An archer who won a gold medal is opening a new store. Guess what he named it? Target.
  11. My mom is coming home after a work trip tonight, guess what I am getting? I am getting yelled at.
  12. Guess what I found in the creepy old professors’ closet? Narnia business.
  13. The banana went to the doctor. Guess what happened? He was not peeling well.
  14. Guess what monkeys eat in space? Space bananas!
  15. One friend took the elevator while the other took the staircase. Guess what? Both were raised differently.
  16. A famous tortoise lives next door. Guess what it’s called? A shell-ebrity.
  17. A girl won a Scrabble tournament. Guess what she got? A re-word.
  18. Guess what kind of hike I went on today? I hiked up my pants!
  19. Guess what coffee and motivational coaches have in common? They encourage people to espresso themselves!
  20. Santa Clause’s elves went to school, guess what they learnt? The elfabets.
  21. A grumpy man spent an evening with his friends at a comedy club and asked his doctor for a course on antibiotics. Guess what for? He thought laughter was infectious.
  22. I was dreaming of an orange ocean tonight. Guess what? It was a Fanta Sea.
  23. Guess what made the sea monster such a successful comedian? He was always kraken everyone up.
  24. I was trying to solve a few equations about circles. Guess what? It was pointless.
  25. Guess what coat hangers do on the weekend? They hang out, of course!
  26. I saw a fairy tale T-shirt at an extremely low price. Guess what? It was a fair retail.
  27. The banana went to the doctor. Guess what happened? He was not peeling well.
  28. Guess what I have right now? Your ear!
  29. Scientists experimented on a rabbit and a bug, guess what they get? A bugs bunny.
  30. The mathematician served something special for dessert. Guess what? It was a pi.
  31. Some people play the sexist card; some people play the racist card. Guess what my wife plays? My credit card.
  32. Guess what the chop said to the steak on their first date? It’s so nice to finally meat you!
  33. Guess what bands turbines love to listen to? Not sure, but they’re big heavy metal fans!
  34. It’s always coming but never arrives, can you guess what it is? Tomorrow.
  35. I won a wet t-shirt competition. Guess what I got?P neumonia.
  36. The baby tomato was running late for school. Guess what his mommy said? “Come on, ketch-up!”
  37. If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would’ve named her biggest dragon? Moron.
  38. New York is going to the Halloween costume party, guess what he is dressing up as?New Orleans.
  39. Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it? A “B”.
  40. Guess what happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
  41. Two monkeys are sharing an Amazon account, guess what are they called? Prime mates.
  42. Guess what did the left eye said to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
  43. Guess what’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  44. The toast was having a sleepover. Guess what he was wearing? His favorite pa-jam-as.
  45. Guess what method of transportation self-driving cars use on their day off? A human driver.
  46. Guess what bands turbines love to listen to? Not sure, but they’re big heavy metal fans!
  47. Guess what I have right now? Your attention.
  48. How do you accurately guess what you’re having for dinner? You cook it yourself!
  49. Can you guess what the calendar worker got fired for? He took a day off without telling anyone!
  50. Guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!
  51. Guess what volcanoes do when they have feelings? They lava each other for a long time.
  52. Guess what smells bad living but smells good dead? A cow.
  53. My girlfriend told me that women were better at multi-tasking than men. So, I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what? She couldn’t do either.
  54. Guess what you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? A cellfie.
  55. Taught my pig karate and guess what we call him now? Pork chop.
  56. Guess what sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck!
  57. I asked my wife what she will do when I won the lottery. She said ”Divorce you and take half” Guess what I said? I responded ”I won $10, here’s $5 and there is the door.”
  58. Guess what Starbucks and therapists have in common?T hey encourage people to espresso themselves!
  59. If they used money in space, guess what it would be called? Starbucks!
  60. Guess what makes you go on red and stop on the green? When you’re eating a watermelon.
  61. My friend asked me “How Lazy are you?”
  62. Guess what? I said If it’s not on the first page of Google, it doesn’t exist.
  63. The astronaut was using the computer and guess what key he kept pressing? The space bar!
  64. I was in another city and guess what my mom texted me? I want you home in 10 minutes.
  65. I was having a very important conversation with my teacher. And guess what? I zoned out.
  66. If you see two girls at a bar, guess what? The short one is single.
  67. Guess what? Dating is so easy because you just ask someone out and they say no.
  68. Pigget kept looking in the toilet. Guess what?He was looking for Pooh.
  69. Cinderella couldn’t play soccer guess what she did on the field? She ran away form the ball.
  70. My doctor’s name is Doctor Pepper. Guess what? He’s a Fizzician.
  71. Guess what you call a sleeping peice of paper? A napkin.
  72. I got a wooden bike with wooden handles and wheels, guess what? It woo-den start.
  73. Guess what presidents were the greenest? The Bushes.
  74. Military was standing outside my house, guess what I did? I-ran.
  75. The shooter is opening a new store, guess what he named it? Target.
  76. Can you guess why the bear failed the exam? Because of his big pause!
  77. There’s a place where the English and French live peacefully. Guess what? It’s Canada.
  78. I saw a cut pig in the market. Guess what? It was porkchopped.
  79. I sneezed at the best time of the day. Guess what? It was at-choo-o’-clock.
  80. The teacher said that he caught something. Guess what? He caught my attention.
  81. The cook gifted his girlfriend something she would like. Guess what? An onion ring.
  82. A thief got caught stealing pizza, guess what he was told? His marinara rights.
  83. I was trying to mimic a flamingo, guess what happened? I had to put my foot down.
  84. Can you guess why everyone loves eating donuts? I do-nut know myself!
  85. The social media influencer had to take some meds, guess what happened? Her posts went viral.
  86. Can you guess who all the little cereal kids are afraid of? The cereal killer!
  87. It only goes up and never comes down, guess what it is? Your age.
  88. Guess what Santa calls his elves? Subordinate Clauses!
  89. This building has the most number of stories, can you guess what it is? A library.
  90. Baby tomato was getting late for school, guess what his mommy said? Come on, ketch-up!
  91. Can you guess what the reason was that the doves got arrested? Because they staged a coo!
  92. Sky had to pay her bills, guess what she gave? A rain check.
  93. Santa Clause bought a motorbike on his way to the North pole, guess what it was? A Holy Davidson.
  94. The skeleton did not go to the ball, guess what the reason was? He had ‘no- body’ to go with.
  95. Guess what ghosts use to wash their hair with? They use sham-boo.
  96. I met a ghost at the supermarket, guess what she was buying? A scare spray.
  97. Guess what you call a baby reindeer’s first teeth? Buck teeth!
  98. I recently went to a restaurant, they poisoned my tiramisu. Guess what? I tiramisued them.
  99. Guess what one wall said to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
  100. Guess what the zero said to eight? Nice belt!
  101. Guess what do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
  102. Guess what you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
  103. Guess what do you call a fly without wings?A walk.
  104. Can you guess what you call someone who never falls down the stairs? A stair-voyant!
  105. Guess what you call a comedian who’s about to make a joke? Someone with a pun in the oven!
  106. Can you guess what I did on Christmas Day? I called up Santa to ask where he at?!
  107. A boulder, a pebble, and a stone walked into a concert, guess what they did? They rocked and rolled all night long!
  108. Knick-knack paddywhack, guess what that old man gave his dog? He gave his dog a bone!
  109. Guess what I said to the man wearing a t-shirt? I said to him, “Sir, I believe your head is sticking out of your t-shirt!”
  110. Can you guess what brand my first car was? A Totally Scraparolla!
  111. Guess what the difference between a hotdog and a corndog is? One’s stuck up while the other is laid back!
  112. Can you guess what an armadillo’s preferred way to get around is? Rocking and rolling!
  113. Can you guess what the reason was? Because they wanted to be taken to our leader!
  114. Can you guess what happened to the man who played board games all his life? He got bored of playing games!
  115. Can you guess what horses, donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep have in common? They’re all very stable animals!
  116. Can you guess what you get when you cross a Pointer and a Setter dog with a Christmas wreath?A Pointsettia!
  117. Can you guess what the pickle did when he had a bad day? He knew he was in a pickle, but just dill-ed with it!
  118. Guess what crime scene investigators do on their day off? They throw caution tape to the wind!
  119. Can you guess what happened to the man who was addicted to doing the Hokey-Pokey? He turned himself around!
  120. Can you guess what type of fish frequents the best reefs in the ocean? The sofish-ticated type!
  121. Can you guess what cats and housewives love to consume? Cat-a-log’s, of course!
  122. Can you guess what you get when you cross a comedian with a chicken? You get someone who loves cracking jokes!
  123. Can you guess what the man did after he became vegan? He never made a missed steak again!
  124. Can you guess what you get when you cross a Labrador with a magician’s trick gone wrong? A labracadabrador!
  125. Can you guess what you get when you cross a jukebox with a fortune cookie? A 4-tune teller!

Thousands More Jokes For Any Occasion

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