The only thing that could make Mondays a better day is funny Monday jokes! We are sharing the best knock knock jokes, short jokes, and phrases to lift your spirit up on the first day of the week.

Hope these put a big smile on your face!

Image shows a drawing of a calendar with the word Mon and a cup of coffee crying with laughter. - Skip to my Lou
Start your Monday right!
  1. How do cheeses greet each other on Monday mornings? Have a Gouda week.
  2. How do you make time go fast on Monday? Throw a clock!
  3. Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday? He wanted to be a Smartie!
  4. What do you call Mondays when there aren’t any zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
  5. Why was the acid so rude on Monday? He was a-mean-o-acid
  6. What do you call someone who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
  7. Why does Gordon Ramsay not like WWE on Monday Nights? Because it’s RAW!
  8. What is Avogadro’s favorite day of the week? Moleday.
  9. Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week? He had been Monday laundering!
  10. Why did Selena Gomez dump The Weeknd on a Monday? She wished The Weeknd was longer.
  11. Why does Sunday always beat Monday in arm wrestling? Because Monday is a weakday.
  12. What did the teacher say to her aardvark student when he walked into class on Monday morning? Why the long face?
  13. Why did the skeleton do a poor job in school on Monday? His heart wasn’t in it!
  14. Why are Mondays and Tuesdays the most productive days of the week? Because after that, it is WTF.
  15. What did the cashew say on Monday morning? Monday always drives me nuts!
  16. What’s the most depressing sound on Monday?Alarm clocks!
  17. Why did the zombie have to stay at home from school on Monday? He was feeling rotten!
  18. What day of the week are demons most tired? De-Monday!
  19. Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday? They got all of the trick questions right.
  20. What do hens think about Mondays? Eggshausted.
  21. What’s long, hard, and waiting for you? Monday and it’s just around the corner.
  22. Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus!
  23. What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? Time to beheaded to work.
  24. Why does Santa hand out candy canes on Mondays? For encourage-mint.
  25. In the example given, Johnny would buy seventeen donuts each Monday, and he would eat twelve each Wednesday. What would Johnny have at the end of the year? Diabetes.
  26. Why did the robot have some trouble focusing at school on Monday? He was a little rusty!
  27. How is Monday similar to a math problem? Add the Irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problem, and divide the happiness.
  28. Why couldn’t the ghost leave school on Monday? He was the school spirit!
  29. Why was the root vegetable so happy on Monday? He was up-beet!
  30. What is the best way to describe Monday? Monday-ne.
  31. Why did Boba Fett sleep Tuesday through Sunday? He was a Mondaylorian
  32. Did you hear about the African who loved Monday Mornings? He was a Monday morning kinda Gueye.
  33. Which day of the week makes werewolves howl? Moonday!
  34. What happened to the witches who broke the school rules on Monday? They got ex-spelled.
  35. Is there anything Sonic needs on Mondays? Hedge-hugs.
  36. What did Monday say to Friday? Between you and I, today is a good day to hump.
  37. Why do people love Tuesdays? Because it is the farthest one can get from Mondays.
  38. Why did the cat have to stay at home from school on Monday? He wasn’t feline very well!
  39. In a calendar, Monday comes before Sunday. But when does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary!
  40. Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday? He had arrrrt class.
  41. What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mourning…
  42. How do you make a blond laugh on Monday? Tell her a joke on Tuesday
  43. What do you call a sundae that melts away and turns into garbage? A Monday.
  44. Why was the broom late for school on Monday? He over-swept!
  45. What’s the best advice for getting through the start of the work week? Just take it Mon-day at a time!
  46. What did the Cyclops say every Monday morning? Eye don’t want to get up.
  47. What do kids do on Mondays during vacation? The same thing they do every other day!
  48. What do you call an ant that sells medicine from Monday to Friday, and helps a farmer on the weekend? A farmassistant!
  49. What’s worse than a rainy Friday? A sunny Monday.
  50. Where did the music teacher leave her keys on Monday? In the piano!
  51. In a galaxy far, far away, who is always eager to start a new work week? The Mondaylorians.
  52. What’s the best time to get a discount on robotic parts? Cyborg Monday.
  53. During the school year, what’s the number one thing kids wish for on Sunday night? A foot of snow by morning.
  54. Did you hear about the lady with chronic laryngitis who always wished everyone a Happy Monday? She did it weakly!
  55. Why were Mondays created? To punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
  56. Why does Spider-Man only fight crime 6 days a week? Because Garfield doesn’t like Mondays.
  57. What’s the worst thing after Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th.
  58. What’s the best day of the week for NASA to launch a rocket? Moon-day!
  59. What does The Rock refer to as the night his child was born? Monday Night Raw.
  60. Why do employees get discouraged after 6 months on the job? After 24 weeks, they have a case of the Mondays!
  61. What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week? Monday morning quarterbacks…
  62. Why do fishermen catch barramundi on a Monday? Because if they caught it a day later, they would have to call it barratuesdi.
  63. How much is one day on Venus? It is 5,832 hours, which is the same as a Monday on Earth.
  64. What is the bright side of Monday? It happens only once a week.
  65. What’s the number one thing schoolchildren wish for on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday.

Thousands More Jokes For Any Occasion

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