These nut jokes will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. Food puns are some of our favorites around here. If you are looking for a good laugh or want something to share with your friends, read on.

We love a good joke and have a great collection of kid’s jokes you won’t want to miss. You will be able to get a few eye rolls with these dad jokes. Put these food jokes in a kid’s lunch. Free cute printable cards make it easy.

cartoon of a peanut and cashew telling nut jokes

Funny Nut Jokes

This list of jokes has everything from funny nut puns, to quotes about nuts, to hilarious jokes about peanuts. Whether you are in the kitchen making a dish with pine nuts or at a party sharing some beer nuts, you’ll find a quick joke to get a chuckle. I do hope you’ll like these nutty jokes! I think they will crack you up.

  1. How do you make a cashew laugh? You crack him up
  2. Why did the nut work at the bank? To cashew your check.
  3. What do you call a pair of nuts on the wall? Walnuts!
  4. What do you call a walnut that likes to exercise? A health nut.
  5. What did one nut chasing another nut say? I am going to cashew.
  6. What is a squirrel’s favorite ballet? The nutcracker.
  7. Who eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that is late for work.
  8. Why did the squirrel want a raise in pay? He was paid peanuts.
  9. Which nut has won the World Cup the most? A Brazil nut.
  10. Which nut loves the game of chess? A Chess-nut
  11. Where do nuts get their gas? A Shell Station.
  12. Why are squirrels good at explaining things? Because they give it to you in a nutshell.
  13. What did the squirrel wear on his feet? Cashews.
  14. What does a squirrel eat at a fair? Acorn dog.
  15. Why did the peanut run across the busy highway? It was nuts.
  16. Who would name their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.
  17. Where can you learn more about nuts? The internut.
  18. When did the peanut butter say it would arrive? In a Jif.
  19. What did the grape jelly say to the peanut butter? You’re nuts!
  20. What did the man say about the new almond diet where you only eat foods made from almonds. Almond milk, almond butter, almond everything? That’s just nuts
  21. Why did the police have a hard interrogating the thief? Because it’s a tough nut to crack.
  22. My dad said, “I will start my journey today and I walnut fail.”
  23. My dad made a playlist for hiking. He calls it his trail mix.
  24. What happens to a nut when it is nervous? It cracks.
  25. Have you tried almond milk? It’s unlike any udder milk.
  26. What do you call mixed nuts? Cashews with obstacles.
  27. What do you call a nut on the wall? A Walnut.
cartoon nuts smiling almond dancing walnut and pistachio

So what was your favorite? Did you like the almond puns, acorn puns, or the trail mix dad joke? In a nutshell, I hope you found these jokes funny!

dancing brazil nut

You’ll Be Nutty For These Ideas

We are nuts for nuts! Find some more nutty fun with these recipes and gifts.

I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram for all my latest updates.

About Cindy Hopper

Learn More

you may also like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *