Winter brings many things: shorter days, colder weather, and of course the snow. With so much white stuff accumulating outside our windows, it’s no surprise that jokes about snow are a popular topic of conversation!

From bad puns to dad jokes, these wintery one-liners are sure to warm your heart and bring a smile to everyone’s face!

  1. What do you call a slow skier? A slopepoke!
  2. How does a fox get down a snowy mountain? They sly-de!
  3. Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow? She liked playing cool jazz.
  4. What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? Snow and Tell.
  5. What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
  6. What do you call a cow hiding inside an igloo? An Eski-moo.
  7. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrot?
  8. What do you get from sitting on the snow too long? Polaroids!
  9. What is a mountains favorite type of candy? Snow caps.
  10. How does a penguin build a house? I-gloos it together
  11. What sort of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
  12. What does a snowman call dandruff? Snowflakes.
  13. What does a snowman have for breakfast? Frosties!
  14. What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
  15. What’s an ig? A snow house without a loo!
  16. What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown!
  17. Why do Eskimos live in igloos? To ice-olate themselves.
  18. Why did Mickey Mouse get hit with a snowball? Because Donald ducked.
  19. What kind of haircut did the snowman get? Frosted tips.
  20. What is a snowman’s favorite drink? A slushy
  21. What did the investigator say to the snowman? Icy right through your lies.
  22. How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? Look for Fresh Prints!
  23. What did the icy road say to the car? Want to go for a spin?
  24. Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake.
  25. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.
  26. How did the Eskimo make his bed? With large blankets of snow and sheets of ice.
  27. Why did the Eskimo wear one boot to town? Because he discovered there would be a 50% chance of snow.
  28. How do mountains stay warm? They put on their snowcaps.
  29. Why do seals swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
  30. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
  31. What do you call a snowman party? A snowball.
  32. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An Eski-mew
  33. When a great woolly mammoth sits on top of your igloo, what time is it? Time to build another igloo.
  34. What’s the best way to scare a snowman? Talk about global warming.
  35. Did you hear the serious story about winter? It’s snow joke!
  36. What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean? H to O! (H20)
  37. If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for? Snowbows.
  38. What did the snowman eat? Icebergs with chilli sauce.
  39. What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflake.
  40. What flies when it’s born, lies when it’s alive, and runs when it’s dead? Snow.
  41. How does a snowboarder deliver his messages? By Air Mail.
  42. How do you know when a snowman is nervous? He is surrounded by yellow snow.
  43. What does the snowman take when he’s worried about melting? A chill pill.
  44. Why didn’t the snowman go to the party? He had snowone to go with!
  45. Where do snowmen put their money? Snowbanks.
  46. What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T.
  47. What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together? A receding hare line.
  48. What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib? A snowmobile!
  49. Why are mountains so funny? Because they’re hill-areas.
  50. Which skiers wear the biggest boots? The one with the biggest feet.
  51. What is a snowman’s favorite pet? A B-Lizzard
  52. How do you get a snow monster to go away? Get into a heated argument.
  53. What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
  54. How does a snowman get around? He rides an icicle!
  55. How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet? Don’t go around BRRfooted!
  56. Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing? Axel Froze.
  57. What do you call the monkey who won an Olympic gold medal for downhill skiing? A Chimpion
  58. What is a skiers favourite game? Ice Spy with my little eye.
  59. Why was the sled stuck in the snow? Because it got to-bog-ganed
  60. Why did the groom have cold feet? He went brrr-foot to the wedding!
  61. Why does no one like meeting up with the snowman? He’s always so flaky!
  62. What’s a snowman’s favorite drink? Iced tea.
  63. Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt? Aunt Artica!
  64. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? Owlgebra.
  65. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frost bite.
  66. If your reindeer lost his tail, where would you go to buy him a new one? A re-tail store!
  67. Why don’t you see penguins in Britain? They’re afraid of Wales!
  68. Where do witches go skiing? Slalom.
  69. What happens when a snowman stubs his toe? It gets thaw!
  70. What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? “Have an ice day!”
  71. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost.
  72. How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed? You wake up wet!
  73. What sort of cakes do snowmen like? The ones with thick icing!
  74. What happened when all the muskox wool that was collected was stolen? The police combed the area.
  75. Where do seals go to see movies? The dive-in!
  76. What does a snowman eat with his burger? Cold-slaw.
  77. What does a snowman use to get around? An icicle!
  78. Why are winter days great? They’re snow much fun!
  79. What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers? Leeks.
  80. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman? Brrrr – itos.
  81. What did one Greenland Shark say to the other? Say, good lookin’… didn’t I meet you last night at the feeding frenzy?
  82. Why did the boy keep his trumpet out in the snow? Because he liked cool music.
  83. What happens when a snowman spills his coffee? Cold brew.
  84. What do feet do when it snows? They go toe-bogganing!
  85. What kind of money do snowmen use in the North Pole? Cold hard cash.
  86. What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy? She gave him the cold shoulder.
  87. What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam!
  88. How do you know when it becomes too cold to have a picnic outside? You chip your tooth on your soup.
  89. What story do snowmen read to their children? Snow White.
  90. What do robots wear when it snows? Roboots!
  91. Why was the blanket discouraged? The snuggle is real.
  92. What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic? Cold cream.
  93. What type of diet did the snowman go on? The Meltdown Diet.
  94. How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you!
  95. How was the snow globe feeling? A little shaken.
  96. What’s it called when all the snowmen visit New York? Sleet week.
  97. What kind of androids do you find in the arctic? Snobots!
  98. What do you call a snowman in summer? A puddle.
  99. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
  100. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant? An ice burger extra cheese.
  101. Who are Frosty’s parents? Mom and Pop-Sicle!
  102. What does it say outside the snowman’s school? Caution Chill-dren Crossing.
  103. Did you hear about the snowman spy? He has a license to chill.
  104. What’s a good winter tip? Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
  105. What do snowmen do on Christmas? Play with the snow angels.
  106. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? I have no eye deer.
  107. Why did the snowman have dandruff? His head was flaky.
  108. What did one snowflake say to the other? You’re one of a kind.
  109. What did one Arctic murre say to the other? What? We flew 2000 miles for THIS?!
  110. Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen? Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
  111. What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect? Where were you on the night of Sept. to March?
  112. Why did the snowman get dumped by his partner? She was cold-hearted.
  113. How do you warn one of Santa’s helpers? Check your elf before you wreck your elf.
  114. What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18? The crack of dawn!
  115. How would you scare a snowman? Get a hairdryer!
  116. What do you use to catch an Arctic hare? A hare net.
  117. How did the Snowman win the boxing match? By coldcocking his opponent.
  118. What do you call a glove combined with a snake? Smitten.
  119. What happened when an icicle landed on the snowman’s head? It knocked him out cold.
  120. What did the tree say after a long winter? What a re-leaf!
  121. Did you hear about the lisping snowman? He came, the thaw, he conquered.
  122. Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake? Because snow man’s an island.
  123. What are caribou calves given to wear? Hoof-me-downs.
  124. Why did the snowman scold his dog? He was too nippy.
  125. What did the sign say in the reindeer stable? There’s snow place like home.
  126. What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing? Freeze.
  127. What’s the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
  128. What’s a snowman’s favorite type of apple? An apple crisp.
  129. Did you hear about the politicians whose best speeches were outdoors in the winter? He could really turn a freeze.
  130. Which kids wear the biggest snow boots? The ones with the biggest feet!
  131. What happens when you’re alone in the water and get too cold? You’re totally ice-olated.
  132. Why is Frosty never late? Time waits for snow man.
  133. How do snowmen pay their bills? With cold hard cash.
  134. What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf? A brrrr-grrr.
  135. What is a Snowman’s favorite soup? Cream of B-leek..
  136. Why is it hard to ski after a fresh snow? With great powder comes great responsibility.
  137. What does Frosty the Snowman like to put on his icebergers? Chilly sauce.
  138. What video game do they play in igloos? Snow Fortnite.
  139. What did the snowman say to his child who wanted the day of school? Snow way!
  140. What was Frosty the Snowman’s career? He was in snow business.
  141. What is a female snowman called? A snow-ma’am.
  142. What sandwiches do snowmen avoid? A tuna melt.
  143. What did one skier say to the other? Alpine for you when you’re gone.
  144. Where do snowmen get the weather report? The Winternet.
  145. After six months of winter, all the snow finally melted. Noice.
  146. Why was the baby snowman crying? Her mother S-colded her.
  147. What did the Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle? Alp!
  148. What do you call a snowman that plays piano? Meltin’ John.
  149. What did the snow plower say to the car drivers before clearing snow? Snow problem.
  150. What do you call it when snowmen kiss? Snow Kissed.
  151. What do you call a snowman without a carrot? Nobody nose.
  152. Has the abominable snowman called? Not Yeti.
  153. What’s a snowman’s favorite meat? Cold cuts!
  154. What do snowmen in San Francisco eat? Ice-A-Roni.
  155. What did the baby snowman call his dad? Pop-sicle.
  156. Why are snowmen great at parties? They always break the ice.
  157. What did the snowflake say to the road? Let’s stick together.
  158. How does a snowman convince someone he’s serious? Snow joke!
  159. What’s the scariest part of owing Santa money? He snows where you live.
  160. Did you hear about the man buried alive under a sudden snowstorm? He was feeling under the weather.
  161. What do you call a snowman in the produce aisle? Nose shopping.
  162. Who’s at the door? It’s snowbody.
  163. Why can’t the snow climb up a ladder? Because the snow falls.
  164. When do snowmen go after they graduate school? The snow ball.
  165. Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snow bank.
  166. Why do polar bears live alone? They like to ice-olate themselves.
  167. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
  168. What kind of cake do snowmen like? Any kind with lots of icing.
  169. What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy!
  170. What is a snowman’s favorite snack? Ice Krispy Treats.
  171. What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales? A snow-fake!
  172. Why did the boy only wear one snow boot? There was only a 50 percent chance of snow.
  173. What kind of cake does an Ice Queen like to eat on her birthday? The flavour doesn’t matter as long as it has lots of frosting.
  174. What do you call a group of children who spent the day outside in the cold weather? Chill-dren.
  175. What does a gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
  176. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
  177. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
  178. I used to be a fortune teller but I kept predicting snowstorms… It turns out I wasn’t using a crystal ball, it was a snow globe.

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