Are you looking for some laughs to brighten your day? This list of jokes about toddlers is sure to bring a smile to your face. Here we’ve gathered up a huge collection of funny and cute jokes that are perfect for any occasion – whether it’s a birthday or just an ordinary day. So, sit back, relax and get ready to chuckle – here is the ultimate list of jokes about toddlers! Enjoy!

  1. What would you call a train that has a cold? A-choo-choo train!
  2. Who is Peppa Pig’s favorite painter? Pigcasso.
  3. What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!
  4. What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!
  5. What do you say to a bunny on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!
  6. What dessert do ghosts eat after dinner? Ice-scream
  7. What do cows do for fun? They go to the Moooo-vies
  8. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? Dino-SNORE!
  9. Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
  10. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.
  11. What is hairy and sneezy? A coconut with a cold.
  12. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry
  13. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
  14. Why did the boy throw a clock out the window? To see time fly.
  15. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
  16. What do you call a fly with no wings? A crawl.
  17. Why did the banana need medication? It wasn’t peeling well!
  18. What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone
  19. Why is the clock banned from the library? Because it tocks too much!
  20. What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me!
  21. Name a tree that fits your hand? A palm tree!
  22. What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot
  23. Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert? Because he was stuffed.
  24. How do piglets greet their grandparents? With hogs and kisses.
  25. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
  26. What do you get if hot water is poured down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.
  27. What is black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in a tumble drier
  28. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrr!
  29. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
  30. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  31. What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?
  32. What is the cloud wearing under his raincoat? Thunderwear
  33. What do elves learn at school? The Elf-abet
  34. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  35. What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing.
  36. Bananas can’t talk.What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast!
  37. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip!
  38. What did the volcano say to the other volcano? “I lava you!”
  39. What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to wash? Stinkerbell
  40. What cheese is only mine? Nacho cheese!
  41. What’s a cow’s favorite place? A moo-seum.
  42. What do pirates pay for corn? A buck an ear!
  43. How do you talk to a giant? Use big words!
  44. Why is telling jokes about pizza hilarious? They’re too cheesy.
  45. What is brown and sticky? A stick
  46. What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-Aid!
  47. What’s the difference between elephants and bananas? Bananas are yellow.
  48. Why did the police play baseball? He wanted to get a catch!
  49. What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
  50. Why did the lazy boy cross the street in a hurry? Because the cow said MOOOOOOOOOOOO
  51. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs? A wonkey
  52. What is a booger’s favorite song? The Motown Boogie.
  53. How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave!
  54. What did the microwave say to the other microwave?Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here?
  55. Why shouldn’t you trust stairs? Because they are always up to something.
  56. What did the policeman say to his tummy? You’re under a vest
  57. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.
  58. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
  59. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
  60. What’s the name of the school that teaches ice cream making? Sundae school
  61. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper
  62. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  63. What has hands but can’t clap? A clock!
  64. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.
  65. What did the firefly say to the other firefly? “You glow, girl!”
  66. Where does the queen keep her armies? In her sleevies
  67. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She’ll “Let It Go.”
  68. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? The snow!
  69. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  70. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
  71. What did the science book say to the math book? “Wow, you’ve got problems!”
  72. What is a frogs favourite drink? Croak-a-cola
  73. Why didn’t the duck pay for the chapstick? He wanted to put it on his bill.
  74. Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
  75. Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired!
  76. What kind of haircuts to bees get? Buzzzzzcuts.
  77. What did the Dalmatian say to his master after lunch? That hit the spot!
  78. What wobbles in the sky? A jelly-copter
  79. Why did Darth Vader turn off one light? He prefers it on the dark side.
  80. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.
  81. Why did the little kid cross the playground? To move to the other slide
  82. Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank
  83. How do you throw a party on Mars? You planet.
  84. What kind of room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!
  85. Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baaa-hamas.
  86. What do you call a blind dinosaur? A do-you-think-he-saw-ous
  87. Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his doody.
  88. Why do vampires seem sick all the time? Because they’re always coffin!
  89. Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window? To see a butter-fly.
  90. How do you make lemon drop? Just let it fall.
  91. What do you call an ant who fights crime? A vigilante!
  92. Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
  93. What types of keys are sweet? Cookies!
  94. What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield.
  95. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish!
  96. What will we call two bananas? Slippers
  97. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking.
  98. Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
  99. Why does peanut butter never disclose its secret? He’s afraid you’ll spread it.
  100. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…
  101. Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snow bank!
  102. What will you do if peanut butter gets on your doorknob? Use a door jam
  103. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2 detour.
  104. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
  105. What did the duck say when it saw fireworks? A fire quacker!
  106. Why is Cinderella bad at soccer? Because she’s always running away from the ball!
  107. Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin!
  108. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
  109. Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
  110. How does a barber travel to work? He takes shortcuts!
  111. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
  112. How did the pirate buy a cheap flag? He bought it on Amazon sail.
  113. When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.
  114. Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels!
  115. Why do fireflies light at night? They want little ants to study all night!
  116. What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite!
  117. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish!
  118. What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
  119. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? It smells like carrots over here!
  120. Name the instrument that the skeleton plays? The tromp-bone
  121. Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
  122. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him.
  123. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
  124. Why did the teacher go to school with sunglasses? The students were so bright.
  125. What type of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans
  126. Why did the picture go to prison? Because it was framed!
  127. What is a zombie’s favorite food? Brain food
  128. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
  129. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple!
  130. Who keeps the ocean clean? Mermaid’s refrigerator
  131. How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away its credit card!
  132. What did the astronaut say when he accidentally crashed into the moon? “I’m Apollo-gize.”
  133. What did the traffic light say to the car? Look away, I’m about to change!
  134. Why couldn’t orange win the race? It ran empty on juice.
  135. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one!
  136. Which dinosaur is the best with vocabulary? The thesaurus
  137. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
  138. Why do robots never feel scared? They got nerves of steel.
  139. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  140. Why do birds fly? It’s faster and better than walking
  141. What does a ghost like to eat for dinner? Spoooooook-ghetti.
  142. What do you get if you add a pie and a snake? A pie-thon.
  143. When do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn
  144. Why did the giraffe’s son always get bad grades? He had his head above in the clouds.
  145. How did the flower react after it shared a joke? I’m just pollen in love with jokes.
  146. Why do porcupines always win the game? They have the maximum points.
  147. What fruit do twins love? Pears!
  148. Why did the cracker go to the doctor? It was feeling crumb-y.
  149. What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh.
  150. Where do elephants pack and store their valuable clothes? In their trunks!
  151. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
  152. What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon.
  153. Why didn’t the koala bear ever find a job? The interviewer said he was over-koala-fied.
  154. What’s a deer standing in the rain called? The Rain-Deer.
  155. Which dinosaur had to wear glasses? Tyrannosaurus specs
  156. What will you call two love birds? Tweethearts!
  157. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
  158. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
  159. Why did Jack and Jill fall from the hill? They were not wearing shoes.
  160. How do scientist’s refresh their breath? With experi-mints!
  161. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie talkie
  162. What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed.
  163. What do you call a dog who masters magic tricks? A labracadabrador
  164. How can you bring the Moon to Earth? In your dreams
  165. What did the cat say when he fell off the table? “Me-ow.”
  166. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
  167. Guess what gets wetter the more it dries? A towel
  168. What snacks do computers love? Computer chips!!
  169. What do you do when a dinosaur sneezes? Get out of the way!
  170. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
  171. What will you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious
  172. Why couldn’t scientists ever meet aliens? Because aliens are shy
  173. What do you call an alligator dressed in a vest? An investigator!
  174. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister.
  175. What nickname will you give to a monkey at the North Pole? Lost-Monkey
  176. What kind of shoes do robbers wear? Sneakers.
  177. What kind of water can’t freeze? Hot water.
  178. What excuse did the egg give when it was late for breakfast? I was being scrambled!
  179. What did the flower say after it told a joke? I was just pollen your leg.
  180. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me.
  181. What’s a dog’s favorite toy? Funny bone!
  182. What did zero say to eight? Nice belt!
  183. What’s the favorite rock of the cow? Mooo-n rock
  184. What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
  185. What do ghosts wear on their feet? BOOts!
  186. What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday? It’s roar birthday.
  187. Name the scariest plant? Bam-booo!
  188. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? A strawberry.
  189. Guess the game where you crush candies to level up? Candy crush
  190. What has arms but can’t hug? A sofa!
  191. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you count Dracula.
  192. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there’s no point.
  193. Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.
  194. How do you fit more pigs on a farm? Build a sty-scraper.
  195. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
  196. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure.
  197. What happens when you eat spinach daily? You become a Popeye.
  198. What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? A milk dud.
  199. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
  200. Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll
  201. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned.
  202. What is a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple.
  203. What song does a cat like best? Three Blind Mice.

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